Research-grounded

Attachment style

How do you behave once you are close to someone?

How you react once you are close to someone — when they go quiet, when you need them, when there is a row — tends to repeat itself in much the same shape from one relationship to the next. That is not personality; it is a pattern laid down early. And patterns can move.

20 questions · 6 min

What this measures

Two independent dimensions: how much you worry about being left or not loved enough, and how much you keep your distance when things get close. The four familiar names — secure, anxious, avoidant, fearful — are the quadrants those two dimensions make, not four separate things being measured.

Worth saying plainly

This is the most research-grounded test on the site: the two-dimensional anxiety–avoidance structure is what attachment researchers actually use. The questions themselves, though, are ours rather than a standardised scale, so read the result as a direction for reflection, not a diagnosis. If these patterns are causing real distress in your life, a therapist will help far more than a quiz.

The structure follows a widely used research framework, though the questions themselves are ours.

The other results

Secure attachment

Able to be close, and able to stand alone

Anxious attachment

Loving wholeheartedly, and always slightly braced for loss

Avoidant attachment

Self-sufficient, and keeping a part back

Fearful attachment

Wanting closeness, and wary of the thing you want

Common questions

Can an attachment style change?: Yes, and this is the part most worth saying. Attachment forms early but does not set. A long stretch in a steady relationship, or therapy, can shift it — most often gradually toward the secure end. Today's result describes where you are, not a sentence passed on you.
I get different results for different relationships. Is that normal?: Entirely. Attachment is more a property of a relationship than of a person. You can be secure with close friends and anxious in romance. Answer with your close relationships in general, or pick one specific relationship and hold it in mind throughout.
Does avoidant mean I am bad at loving people?: No. Avoidance is not an absence of feeling; it is a strategy that once worked. If depending on people led to disappointment, handling things yourself was a reasonable defence. The trouble is only that the strategy keeps running automatically in relationships that are, in fact, safe.
Should two people with different styles be together?: This test does not answer that, and be suspicious of any site that answers it confidently. An anxious–avoidant pair does fall into a pursue-and-withdraw loop more often, but plenty of such couples go the distance once both can name the loop. Knowing what you are doing matters more than matching labels.

And you?

Take the test to see your own result.